perhaps you should rotate starbucks more often

Ah, he probably meant well enough. Everyone has Paris guide books kicking around and he thought you could use his, perhaps? I once had a patron at the library information desk where I worked come up and give me his entire collection of books on a subject he knew I worked on....weird but nice, eh?

But yes, you should certainly rotate coffee shops.

A good map of paris can be surprisingly hard to find.

"Regardless, feel like I should be paying more attention to my surroundings. Would be terribly inconvenient if I ended up in some psychopath's fridge cut up into small pieces."

Indeed. That was a painless lesson in urban awareness.

From even your blurry pic post I could tell that you seem to have it together in terms of appearance, so you might assume that when you are out, that there are eyes watching you of which you are generally unaware. Mostly harmless but not always.

Less polite misanthropy and more situational mindfulness.

There's always the new tasers .

Well, here is the problem: it'd be great if a nice, intelligent guy struck up a conversation with me. Unfortunately, people say my demeanor is intimidating (I don't smile enough, blah blah).

A taser sitting next to my laptop would probably make things worse.

Well there are a number of things that can be done, short of you gladhanding the coffee shop, that can put people at ease. Body language and eye contact that is inviting rather than defensive or remote. That sort of thing. You're bright, do a little reading.

Don't feel bad. It's a learned skill and one I had to master years ago after I was informed that my colleagues generally found me to be arrogant, aloof and somewhat scary. Admittedly, those qualities had their uses on some occasions but now I can at least appear to be warm and soothing to the knuckleheads, at least for short bursts of time. Paid some social dividends as well.

Indeed. That seems to be the fashion up here in the Pacific NW, but this is supposed to be the serial killer capital of the US so I guess they have a right to be cagey and on edge.

ZP is on the money absolutely, perhaps also some thought into improving powers of observation? I.E. walking into a room and noticing everything of interest about it from the fire exits to the # of people and then taking it further from there as you get more comfortable with it. I can't do it but a few friends of mine do it all the time with considerable skill from practice.

Eddie: That sounds like a fine game, actually.

ZP: I am actually quite charming and affable when I'm "on", which is why I do so well at work. It's not my natural state though, and invites far more attention than I generally want in public places. Being aloof is useful in that regard.

The problem is filtering. How to get the nice, interesting people to approach me, but not the drooling morons and perverts?

Hmmm.

A taser sitting next to my laptop would probably make things worse.

Well, all depends on the sort of corrupt expat that is around.

Oh fine. Perhaps you might be intrigued, or your twisted Agency friends, but really.

L does have a point. Perhaps if you put out the correct objects (think shiny for engineers or shocking for the correct type of scummy expat), you'll attract the type of people you want.

Well, here's my usual arrangement of items:

- Black Ipod
- Black MacBook
- RAZR
- New Yorker and/or Economist mags (I read FT online)
- Latte

I don't know which audience segments would find these things attractive (aside from gadget freaks and "Apple people", who usually annoy me)

Dear e,

you might want to always have one of the following next to your gadgetry:

- A Mini Guide to Islamic Banking & Finance
- any book by Tariq Ramadan
- Muhajababes (Allegra Stratton)
- The Girl's Guide To Big Game

Enjoy.

--MSK

PS: Doesn't everyone do Eddie's game?

E: also consider keeping a few pocket dictionaries for languages using alphabets (or characters) other than the standard roman alphabet. that'll help scare off the gadget freaks.

btw, aside from the apple stuff (unless you run linux or bootcamp), that would certainly attract my segment.

MSK: good call on the islamic banking and finance book.

It's not like I'm laying a trap for some poor bastard. Books about Islam are just going to lead to earnest convos about Manji and Hirsi Ali. It's happened a few times already, hard not to spew invective.

Re MacBook: I was planning to run Parallels, but have no real need for emulators on that laptop. Strictly leisure.

come now, E. all good coffeehouse successful singles know that the soul reason for sitting in a specific coffee shop repeatedly and with well chosen items displayed is to attract a certain type of person for conversation, entertainment, and to whatever such actions might lead.

completely off subject, those of us fresh from uni or that still remember exam-filled days with fondness might enjoy http://colhumor-9.vo.llnwd.net/d1/ch6/5/c/collegehumor.de5ad3e59ae214e10f18e98c68285427.jpg

Yeah, Islam-related books rarely lead to intelligent conversation in large north American cities. As bait goes, books are good for attracting the attention of the intellectual male...has to be something that your ideal male would have read or have on his reading list too (perhaps de Soto and suchlike?) And it can't be on a topic that drooling morons could have picked up enough about from a PBS/History channel show to be able to hold forth on.

"Latte"

that could be your problem. Like ipods, macbooks and accessoire tasers, coffee must be black.

coffee must be black like E's heart.

(couldn't resist)

Definitely go with the taser.

Sure, a tattoo might show your independent streak, but a taser has more utility and is less scabby.