Really, your access to Turkey should be constant if you're going to fly there and stay for two weeks. Dang ripoff tours!

If you're in Istanbul, as I am, there's cafes everywhere - and every decent hotel in the West of Turkey (and many not-so-decent hotels in the rest of Turkey) has wireless internet... so don't worry.

If you're coming here to unwind from Toronto, let me know. The Aegean, in particular, is hot with tourists right now - but there are good places to go where (less) tourists go. Best regards.

If you're in Istanbul, as I am, there's cafes everywhere - and every decent hotel in the West of Turkey (and many not-so-decent hotels in the rest of Turkey) has wireless internet... so don't worry.

If you're coming here to unwind from Toronto, let me know. The Aegean, in particular, is hot with tourists right now - but there are good places to go where (less) tourists go. Best regards.

We aren't missing you.

Really, we're not.

OK, you can cut the silent game, it's not working. We don't miss you.

Mmmmmmmm, no nice try. We don't miss you. Really. No.

Ok, maybe a little. You can stop it now.

It was cute, but you can talk now.

Come on now, it's not funny anymore.

This is not cool; it's passive aggressive. Come on!

Look, ok, sure we're not the most reliable fans, and well, maybe it's our fault you went off to Turkey, ok, maybe we didn't praise your web-design enough but please, you can forgive us....just drop us a line, please

All right, this is just so you. First you indulge us, then you ignore us, design here, tweak here, then run off with assorted professional flirtations; well damn it, haven't you inflicted enough damage?

All right, it doesn't bother us now; we are so over you. I hope you learned your lesson.

OK, we were kidding about the "over you", just drop us a line. Anything. "Hi, the Bosporus is wet; wish you were here."

Anything, we were just overwrought. We miss you, please just say something. Anything.

Look, ok, we're not obsessed, we promised to cut that out, it's for real this time.

We won't be so controlling, we'll get the therapy, we've learned to be calm. We started the program and we can do the serenity prayers and also.....

OH, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, JUST SAY SOMETHING! PLEASE!!! WE SAW "MIDNIGHT EXPRESS" OVER AND OVER 'TIL WE PUKED. CAN YOU BLAME US?

PLEASE

JUST

SAY

SOMETHING!!!!!

I'm back. I've got a great story about some sketchy Kazakh pimps in Antalya, but otherwise we were just fine.

Will write something after the jetlag wears off.

Dear e,

Sorry I couldn't make it. Stupid "work" getting in the way ... Quel dommage.

--MSK*